


Silent Love

by aliensvslife



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Disability, Light Angst, M/M, Multi, Shep is also a tough boi to everyone except Kaidan, Sheploo - Freeform, Vancouver, kaidan is 19, mShenko, mute character, shep is 20
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2019-08-25 09:01:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16658134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aliensvslife/pseuds/aliensvslife
Summary: When Kaidan was younger, he was rendered mute due to an injury. He was bullied all through high school and leaving for university was going to be his escape from that. It was his first day when he, quite literally, bumped into a handsome stranger and ran away. He expected that to be the last time he saw the man. But boy was he wrong.orKaidan is mute and shy and self conscious and Shep is smitten





	1. The First Day

**Author's Note:**

> I had the urge to write Kaidan mute so here you go. I'll try and get chapters out weekly!
> 
> Beta read by the amazing @kittenkakt!

Kaidan nervously played with the strap of his bag across his chest as he walked along the campus of his new university. It was his first official day of classes and, so far, everything was going well. He hadn’t had to answer any questions, strangers didn’t come up and talk to him, therefore no one, so far, knew that he couldn’t talk. 

When he was in high school, he was the “the freak that couldn’t talk”. He was bullied and belittled for years because of something he had no control over. Leaving his town and going to university was something he had been looking forward to for a very long time. It was his escape and he was very happy with the results so far. 

He was too distracted by his thoughts that he didn’t even see the other body coming around the corner until he crashed right into a hard chest. Suddenly, he was on his back, the sky above him, and feeling a little dazed. He blinked rapidly, quickly sitting up, eyes wide as he stared at the man in front of him. 

And that was all he did. Stare.

He couldn’t help it. The man was just... so attractive that Kaidan’s brain needed a moment to just... marvel at him. Strong jaw, buzzed hair with a scar on the hairline bright blue eyes that just seemed to pierce into his very soul. And he was all dressed up in ripped jeans and a leather jacket. It was like this man stepped right out of Kaidan’s fantasies. 

The man stared at him, an eyebrow raised, and Kaidan rushed to stand up, closing his fist and rubbing it in circles on his chest, his face contorted into an apologetic look. He hoped the man understood. 

“Uh...” The man frowned, his voice gruff and, god, if Kaidan didn’t just about _swoon_. “Are you... Okay?”

Kaidan nodded quickly, his fist stopped moving and instead he just grabbed the strap of his bag in a white knuckled grip and took a step back. His anxieties were coming back up, thoughts that he needed to leave before this guy figured out that he couldn’t talk. The day was going well so far, and he didn’t want that to be ruined because some hot stranger decided to make fun of him. 

He turned before the man could say anything more and started to speed walk away, not looking back until he was around the corner and heading straight up to his dorm room and collapsing on his bed face down. He didn’t even take note that his roommate, and best friend, was on his own bed until he was speaking.

“Bad day already, Kaidan? It’s your first day.” Joker laughed, failing to completely hide the worry in his voice.

Kaidan flopped onto his back and gave Joker a dry look, his brown eyes narrowing. He gave a heavy sigh and bit his lip before sitting up and facing his best friend, shaking his head slowly. Technically nothing bad had happening. He’d had a good day. 

_“I bumped into someone and freaked out,”_ he signed slowly, sighing. 

Joker just nodded and moved to sit next to Kaidan on the bed, giving his friend a pat on the shoulder. Kaidan smiled and gave Joker’s shoulder a gentle nudge before he gave a soft tilt of his head and nodded at him. 

“How was my day? It was fine. There’s some cool people in my class that I’m gonna pass for top of the class.” he smirked cockily.

Kaidan grinned and let out a breathy laugh, standing from the bed and moving to put away his books from his history class, setting them up on his desk, and swapping them out for his mechanical engineering books. He continued to listen to Joker talk about his classes as he stuffed his books into his bag and shot a text to Tali, one of his other friends, to meet at his dorm so they could go to class together. 

Joker was just finishing up about a story about how some kid showed up to class high as a kite, when there was a knock at his door. Kaidan opened it with a soft chuckle and grinned at the woman standing there. He gave a nod in greeting and stepped aside, letting Tali inside. She took a step in before looking at Joker. 

“Hello, Joker.” she greeted, her voice lilting in that sing song way of hers. “Kaidan, are you ready to go? I want to get there early and get good seats.” 

Kaidan nodded and adjusted his bag on his shoulder. Trust Tali to want to get there early. Not that he minded, of course. Mechanical Engineering was something they had both bonded over since meeting in high school, the two of them often gushing about the latest tech on the market while the rest of their friend group watched on. Well, Tali gushing and Kaidan listening enthusiastically and either writing or signing as quickly as he could.

They both waved goodbye to Joker as left, Kaidan making sure that he had the key to the room before they both wandered off, Tali chatting away about what she’s already read in the required textbook. Kaidan was nodding his agreement on how the latest Polaris software outshines the latest Bluewire software, when he suddenly stopped dead in his tracks.

Leaning against the wall to the building they were going to go into, was the man that Kaidan had bumped into and then run away from earlier that day, standing with another, taller guy. Tali stopped and turned to Kaidan when she noticed he wasn’t following and tilted her head curiously, looking to where Kaidan was staring, wide eyed. Kaidan didn’t like the smirk that graced her features when he tore his gaze away from the attractive man. He squinted suspiciously at Tali when she grabbed his wrist and dragged her over to the two men. 

“Hi, Garrus.” she greeted, a soft pink dusting her cheeks before looking to the man in leather. “Hi...” she prompted.

“Hey, Tali. It's good to see you again.” Garrus grinned and Kaidan saw the appreciative gaze he cast Tali’s way before nodding in greeting to Kaidan. 

“John Shepard.” the other nodded, his eyes only on Kaidan. 

Kaidan meanwhile, was tense and gripping his bag strap tightly. His gaze frantically flicking between the three in front of him.

“John, Garrus, this is Kaidan.” Tali introduced. 

Kaidan gave a small wave, his gaze flicking to John’s before looking back at Tali, pleading with his eyes that he wanted to just go inside and get a good seat before he dies, from either embarrassment or from all his blood rushing into his cheeks. 

“Kaidan... hey, you were the kid that bumped into me earlier. Sorry about that. I didn’t get to say earlier... you kinda just bolted.” John spoke, tilting his head as he watched Kaidan.

Kaidan’s head shot up and he shook his head, his face contorting into a look of surprise. He brought his fist up to his chest again and rubbed in a circle again, hoping that John understood. He didn’t, if that look of confusion on his face was anything to go by, and Kaidan gave a frustrated look to Tali.

“He’s saying sorry.” she translated easily, watching Kaidan with curious eyes. Eyes that told him she wanted details on what happened with John earlier. “He has vocal cord damage.”

Kaidan became tenser, if that was even possible and chanced a glance at the two men. He was just waiting for the backlash. Waiting for the harsh words and the judgemental looks. This is what he was afraid off. Coming to university was meant to be a new start. Before he knew it, it was going to be high school all over again and he was going to get bullied again, all because he didn’t watch where he was going and bumped into an attractive stranger.

But... nothing happened. The looks didn’t come, the words didn’t come. 

Kaidan slowly looked up at the two men and was surprised to see no judgement in either of their eyes. It made Kaidan’s heart feel... light and warm. It was a good feeling. He smiled softly at the two and gave a small shrug. 

“That... actually explains a lot.” John nodded, his steely blue gaze rested on Kaidan. “It’s cool dude. We all have our... thing.” He shrugged, pushing off the wall and looking to Garrus. “Let’s head inside.”

Garrus gave a nod to his friend and looked to Tali. “I’ll see you in there. Come sit next to us when you come in. I’ll keep a seat free for you.”

With that, the two men were gone, leaving the two behind and blushing a deep red. 

“Well... that was... interesting. Garrus is so...” Tali gave a soft sigh before clearing her throat and looking to Kaidan, her eyebrow raised. “So... John, huh?”

Kaidan blushed and gave Tali’s shoulder a light shove before he walked past her, her laugh echoing behind him before she caught up to him. 

“He’s pretty cute. Kept eyeing you up too.” she hummed, walking through the door that Kaidan was holding open for her. 

He just shook his head at her words. He was pretty sure his cheeks were going to be permanently red at this point. As much as he wanted to believe his friend, he just... couldn’t. He couldn’t believe that someone as good looking as John could find him attractive, especially after finding out he couldn’t talk. He was... broken. He couldn’t speak, he had an ugly scar on his neck, and he was emotionally damaged from years of bullying. He was broken and he knew that, and he had accepted it, and he knew that no one would want to be with someone broken. 

Kaidan took a deep breath as he followed Tali into the classroom, he knew exactly where they were going and he honestly didn’t know if he was going to be able to pay attention to whatever the professor would be saying. Not when John, who Kaidan had now officially dubbed ‘the most attractive man ever’, was sitting next to him. 

As expected, Tali made a beeline straight for the spot next to Garrus, Kaidan glancing at John and quickly averting his gaze when he caught John’s eye. He quickly took a seat on Tali’s other side, taking his bag off and pulling out his laptop and textbook. He had just logged onto his laptop when he sensed a presence at his side. He glanced out the corner of his eye and saw John getting comfy next to him. He turned to John and tilted his head curiously, giving a small shy wave before looking steadfastly back at the screen of his laptop. 

It was quiet for a moment, Kaidan staring at the time, wishing the professor would _just hurry up._

“So, Kaidan...” John drawled, lounging back in his chair. “I bet everyone says you’re a great listener.” He grinned.

Kaidan blinked and looked over at John, his eyebrow raised. Did he just...? A breathy laugh escaped his lips as he shrugged his shoulders with a slight nod. He wasn’t used to people making light hearted jokes about his... condition. He could hear there was no malice in John’s words when he spoken and, as much as he wishes they didn’t, the words made a warm, safe feeling settle in his stomach. 

Kaidan brought up his hands to sign a question, but aborted the motion halfway through, remembering that John didn't know sign language. He held up a finger and turned back to his laptop, pulling up a word document and writing what he was going to say.

_“I’m sorry about earlier... I freaked out... I didn’t expect to see you doing Mechanical Engineering.”_

John took a moment to read the writing and nodded with a small chuckle. “I’m only here cause Garrus is. He’s my best mate.” He shrugged, his gaze finally leaving Kaidan’s as the professor walked into the room. “I’ll chat to you later.” He winked and Kaidan watched him move back to his seat next to Garrus.

He bit his lip as he stared for a moment longer, only able to tear his eyes away once the professor started to talk. 

Kaidan pushed all thoughts of John out of his head and focused on the lecture. He may have a teeny, tiny crush on the man, but he had enough self-control to know he needed to focus on his studies. And as far as university lectures go, it was interesting. It helped that the Professor, Professor Hackett, really knew what he was talking about. He came off like a hard ass but was also fair. 

At the end of the lecture, Kaidan packed his things away and stood from his seat. He was ready to go back to his dorm and sleep for the next 10 hours. Who knew university would be so tiring? He was in the middle of a large yawn when John and Garrus said their goodbyes, John slipping Kaidan a piece of paper with a wink before leaving. 

Kaidan looked down at his hand as Tali grinned beside him, her eyes shining. “Well... What does it say?” she asked, the excited impatience prominent in her voice.

He opened the paper, reading the numbers with a blush before passing it over to his friend, adjusting the strap of his bag in a nervous gesture.

“That’s so cute. You already have his number. Now you have to text him.” Tali giggled, handing the paper back and then grabbing her own things. 

She reached out and squeezed Kaidan’s wrist. “Told you he kept eyeing you.” 

Kaidan just rolled his eyes again. He shoved the paper into his pocket and started to walk towards the exit, hearing Tali catch up and walk beside him. He was in his own head as they walked towards his dorm, his fingers in his pocket, fiddling with the piece of paper. He just... he couldn’t believe it still. He wasn’t going to jump to conclusions though. He’ll just assume John wants to just be friends, no matter how much the crush in his head whispered about wanting more. But no. He’ll be happy just to have more friends and John and Garrus seemed like genuinely nice guys, even if they were rough around the edges. 

Kaidan walked into his dorm room with a happier smile on his face than the last time he did. This time when he flopped onto his bed, it wasn’t in a dejected, sad way. It was in a happy, giddy way. He pulled out the piece of paper, reading the words under the phone number with a grin on his face.

_‘Hope to hear from you soon, Kaidan. - John x’_


	2. Did that really just happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta read by the amazing @kittenkakt!

The first week of University had gone well. No one bullied Kaidan for not being able to talk. If anything, it seemed that most people just didn’t care at all, too focused on themselves and their own friends and school work to pay attention to him. If Kaidan was honest, this was the first time in a long time he’d felt safe in a learning environment. He found himself thriving here, both socially and academically.

It was finally Saturday. Finally the weekend and while classes haven’t been stressful or hard, Kaidan was looking forward to not having to worry about getting up early and being able to actually sleep in. He sleepily blinked his eyes open and nuzzled into his pillow for a moment, before turning onto his back and giving a long stretch, a large yawn escaping him. He reached out for his phone on his bedside table and checked the time. Eleven in the morning. Perfect.

Kaidan threw back the covers and sat up, running his fingers through his hair as he pulled up the group chat with his friends, shooting them a message to arrange somewhere to hang out. He put his phone away as he left to the bathroom, getting ready for the day.

He looked himself over in the mirror and ran his fingers over the raised scar on his neck. He had gotten used to seeing it everyday… but it still brought up bad feelings when he looked at it for too long. Kaidan tore his eyes away and turned on the shower instead, undressing and hopping in when the water was right. As the water rushed over his body, his mind went over his first week.

He was doing well in his classes. He was able to keep up easily, all the reading and gushing with Tali during high school really coming in handy now with his mechanical engineering lectures. He was even doing really well with his history classes, though that was mostly because he had help from his close friend, Liara.

Then there was John. Things with the taller man had also been going well. Between classes they were texting near constantly, messaging about everything and anything they could. The tone of the texts usually quite flirty, to say the least. It was obvious to Kaidan that, with the way things were going between them, his crush would not be going away anytime soon.

Kaidan finished washing himself and stepped out of the shower, drying himself off and getting dressed back into his pajamas once dry. He left the bathroom, towel drying his hair and grinning when he saw Joker sitting up on his own bed. He gave a wave and went to his drawer of clothes, pulling out an outfit for the day and getting changed once Joker was in the bathroom. 

Once dressed, he checked his phone, sending off a smiley face emoji into the group chat, actually grinning as well because he loved his friends. He was just tying up his shoe laces when Joker came out of the bathroom, already dressed and ready to go, his usual cap resting on his head. 

Kaidan gave a large grin at his roommate and flashed his phone, gesturing to Joker’s so he will check his own messages, then going back to his shoes. He stood from the bed and made sure he had everything he needed before moving to wait at the door, giving Joker a pointed look to hurry up. All he got in return was a teasing huff and a fond roll of the eyes. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming. You know, for a guy that doesn’t talk, you sure do give a lot of sass.” He scoffed with a shake of his head, though Kaidan could see the small smile that Joker was holding back. 

Kaidan just gave a breathy laugh and opened the door, stepping out and waiting for Joker to follow before closing and locking the door. Their little gang were meeting up at the local coffee shop. It was a small, family owned shop where most of the university students liked to hang out because there were nice alcoves to sit and study and the whole atmosphere of the place was relaxing. Kaidan was excited to get there, have some coffee and just decompress with his friends after their first week of classes.

Kaidan held open the door of the coffee shop for Joker and looked around, spotting a booth next to a window. He pointed it out, nodding when asked if he wanted his usual, and then walked over to it, claiming the seat for his group. 

It wasn't too long before the rest of his group walked through the door. Liara, Tali, and Edi. Kaidan waved them over, standing up to hug each of them.

“Kaidan, it’s good to see you.” Liara greeted, her voice high and sweet.

“Long time no see.” Tali teased lightly.

Edi gave Kaidan a nod and a small smile, before looking over at Joker. “I shall go order our drinks.”

Kaidan watched her go and sat down with Liara and Tali, grinning when he saw Joker give Edi a soft kiss. They were sweet together. He turned his attention back to the girls and tilted his head.

 _“Where’s Miranda?”_ he signed, his face a look of confusion.

“Cheerleading. It’s the first full practice of the season.” Liara explained.

Kaidan gave an understanding nod, and looked up as Joker placed their coffees on the table, Edi behind him with the rest of their drinks. Kaidan gave a thankful smile, reaching out to give his arm a small squeeze. He sipped at his drink, let out a soft sigh as the caffeine ran through him, his eyes closed. He opened them again and sat contentedly as he listened to his closest friends chat about their week and their classes and anything and everything in between.

Edi was talking about something she’d learned in her Psychology class when Kaidan saw him. He was looking around the shop and his eyes looked to the door when it opened and who else other than John Shepard was stepping inside with Garrus and two women. Kaidan blushed as he locked eyes with John, the other man sending a wink his way before walking towards the counter. Kaidan looked down at the now empty coffee cup and lightly chewed his lip. Part of him wanted John to come over, the other part definitely did not. 

“Kaidan? You okay? You kinda zoned out there.” Liara questioned, concern in her eyes.

Kaidan quickly nodded, his eyes glancing over at John at the counter ordering, before quickly looking back at his friends, giving a smile. He didn't notice the cheeky look Tali had on her face when she followed where his eyes had drifted without his permission.

“Mhm. I’m sure him zoning out has nothing to do with his crush walking in.” Tali teased, her eyes glinting with mischief.

Kaidan glared at her, though there wasn’t any heat behind it. Not that it would be effective if there was, the blush on his cheeks only deepening at her words. The rest of their group looked over to where Tali was and then looked back at Kaidan with a grin. Kaidan just shook his head, glancing at John before looking over at each of his friends.

 _“It’s not a crush.”_ he signed with a huff.

“I’d believe that if your cheeks weren’t as red as a tomato. You suck at hiding how you feel, dude.” Joker laughed, nudging Kaidan’s shoulder.

Kaidan was about to refute, but his hands stopped mid way because John “the most handsome guy ever” Shepard was standing in front of their table, staring at Kaidan with a cocky grin.

“Kaidan, hey.” He smirked, eyes raking over Kaidan’s face.

Kaidan gave a shy wave, and glanced up into Johns eyes before quickly looking away. He was so lame. He was acting like he was 15 years old again with some high school crush. He was 19 now. He was better than this.

“Shep, come on, let’s go.” The tattooed lady that walked in with John said, a bored expression on her face as she held hands with the black haired girl next to her.

“In a second, Jack,” John rolled his eyes, then turned his attention to Kaidan, “You free later?”

Kaidan was surprised by the question, looking around at his quiet friends, their faces ranging from appreciation (Tali), to curious (Edi and Liara), to mischievous (Joker). He looked back at John and nodded, eyes wider than usual.

“Great. I’ll pick you up around 7. I’ll text you later for the address” He smirked, giving Kaidan a wink before turning away, not giving Kaidan’s friends another look.

Kaidan watched until John was out of the shop, his friends trailing behind him. He looked back to his friends with a slight smile and the tips of his ears red. Was he just asked on a date? By the guy he has a crush on? Well, ‘asked’ was pushing it. He wasn’t so much as asked… as told. Not that he minded.

“We need to go shopping for your date!” Tali clapped, a giddy look on her face.

Kaidan grimaced and looked down at his clothes. _“What’s wrong with what I have on?”_

“This is a date, Kaidan. You need to look good for him!” Liara chimed in.

Kaidan gave a soft sigh and chewed his lip before nodding. He supposed he should get some nice clothes. He wanted to impress John, wanted to the other man to be attracted to him. He wanted to make the man speechless. So, he gave a grin to the girls across from him and gave a determined nod.

Tali and Liara let out happy squeals and Joker winced with a chuckle. “Well, while you all do that. Edi and I will be doing our own thing.”

Joker and Edi stood from the table and Kaidan stood with them, giving them both a hug goodbye and watched them leave. He turned to Tali and Liara and gestured to the door. Both girls got up and linked their arms with Kaidan’s, pulling him towards the exit and out onto the street. The shopping mall wasn’t very far from the coffee shop, so a quick Uber ride and they were there.

Kaidan was nervous. For obvious reasons. His self esteem wasn’t exactly what you would call strong and there. While he was excited for what he assumes is a date, he’s also scared shitless because things can go so wrong. What if John decided to not show up? What if he did? WHat if he decided part-way through the, obviously very quiet, date that dating someone mute wasn’t worth it? That would _crush_ Kaidan. 

It was like Liara could sense the dark path Kaidan’s brain had taken him down and she squeezed his arm.

“It’ll be okay, Kaidan. And if he hurts you, you know that Tali and I, as well as Edi, will kick his ass while Joker verbally drags him.” She grinned, pulling him into a menswear store. 

Kaidan pushed the dark thoughts to the back of his mind. He can’t really ever get them to fully go away, but with the support of his friends, his worries were alleviated a bit. Instead, he looked around the store. He’s never really been inside one of these stores before, figuring all they would carry were suits for businessmen. But boy was he wrong. Yeah, the clothing was definitely upper class; fancy. Slacks, button-up shirts, and polos line the walls of the shop and the displays on the floor. Kaidan just stared wide eyed at everything; he didn’t even notice Tali racing off already, taking shirts and pants and hanging them over her arm.

“Let’s go follow her before she decides you need to buy the whole store.” Liara giggled, her arm still linked with Kaidan’s as they followed the other bouncy girl.

By the time they caught up with Tali, Kaidan was pushed towards the changing room with an armful of clothes to accompany him. 

“Try those on and then give us a show!” Tali called through the curtain of the change room.

Kaidan looked down at the clothes with slight trepidation. But he sucked it up and started to pull on the clothes. Each time he changed outfits, he’d head out and show the girls, giving a slight twirl before he was told if it was a yay or a nay. By the time he had tried on all the clothes, it had been an hour and he was down to two outfits.

He debated over the two and then decided to go with the blue coloured blazer and pants combo with a loud, patterned, button-up shirt with a nice pair of shoes. It wasn’t super formal and it was easy to move in. He didn’t know what kind of date they were going on, so he kept it classy and neat, but still casual. He grinned at his friends and showed them the outfit he’d chosen, getting happy squeals in return. Kaidan honestly loved his girls so much. He’d be a mess for this date if it wasn’t for them, the impromptu shopping trip actually helping him calm down. He gave them both a hug before taking the suit to the counter and paying for it. 

After buying the clothes, they made a stop to get another coffee, a quick take-away one this time before they called an Uber and left for Kaidan’s dorm room. John was going to be picking him up in just a few short hours and the girls were going to help him get ready. Their exact words being _“We’re going to make you drop dead gorgeous that if he doesn’t kiss you tonight, then he doesn’t deserve you.”_

Once in his dorm, Kaidan waved at Joker and Edi, who were sitting at the desk reading a book together, and hung his new clothes on the hook on the closet door before heading to the bathroom.

Time to get ready for this date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think and also let me know if the comments what kind of things you want to see in this story! I have stuff planned out but if there's something specific you want to see, I might make it into a side story :)
> 
> Find me on my socials: @aliensvslife


	3. The Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beta read by the amazing @kittenkakt!

Kaidan looked at himself in the mirror, running his gelled fingers through his hair one more time before he stepped away and looked himself over. He looked damn fine, the clothes Tali and Liara picked out making his eyes pop and showing off the best parts of his body.

He brushed his hands down his blazer before nodding and turning to leave the bathroom. He opened the door and stepped out, rapping on it to draw his friends’ attention to show off his look. He gave a bashful grin as he looked over all of their grinning faces, running his fingers along the back of his neck. 

“Kaidan! You look amazing.” Tali gasped, her hands clapping together.

Kaidan gave her a thankful smile before going over to sit on his bed, pulling on his new shoes. His nerves were coming back full force now, butterflies fluttering about in his stomach, making him shift and fidget with the hem of his blazer. He was really hoping this was going to go well, but given that he knew nothing about what they were doing on this date, he couldn’t help the small voice of doubt in the back of his head.

He didn’t have long to fidget and worry. As he was finishing up with his shoes, there was a knock at the door. Tali and Liara jumped up to open the door, but a quick glare from Kaidan had them both sitting down with twin pouts on their faces. He stood from the bed and made his way to the door, taking a deep, stabilising breath before opening it, a grin stretching his face when he saw the man standing on the other side.

“Hey,” John greeted, his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket, then glanced behind Kaidan at the full room, his eyebrow raised, “full house.” 

Kaidan felt the blush rise to his cheeks and let out petulant puff of air before nodding. He gestured at his friends before gesturing at his clothes. John seemed to understand as he got a nod in return and a hand offering to take his.

“Come on. Full night ahead.”

Kaidan quickly grabbed his keys from the hook next to the door and shoved them in his pocket before taking John’s hand. He gave a wave to his friends, getting back a round of thumbs up and a yell of “use protection!” from Joker through the door. 

Kaidan was going to kill him.

It was a nice night for a date. The sun was just setting, casting a beautiful orange glow on the campus grounds. John’s hand was warm in his as they entered the carpark and John led them to a black and red motorbike. Kaidan had seen John ride it once or twice during the week and if he was honest… Kaidan was terrified to get on it.

“Don’t worry. Just hold on tight.” John chuckled once he noticed the poorly hidden grimace on Kaidan’s face.

Kaidan watched as John pulled on his helmet before handing one over to him as well. With a hesitant look and a soft sigh, he pulled on the helmet. He wasn't expecting John to come up and help clip the helmet securely under his chin though, and he was grateful for the tint of the visor to hide his pinkening cheeks. John tapped Kaidans helmet lightly before turning and hopping onto his bike. Kaidan couldn’t help but blush as he followed suit and wrapped his arms tight around Johns torso, holding on for dear life. 

With a rev of the engine, they were off, Kaidan tensing at the initial lurch of the vehicle before slowly relaxing against John’s back. At one point during the ride he even let out a breathy laugh. His heart was racing but he’d be lying if he didnt think this was incredibly fun. His mother would be having a heart attack if she saw him right now.

It was a fifteen minute ride before the bike slowed to a stop. Kaidan hopped off the bike first, unclipping and taking off his helmet while John did the same. He looked around, taking in the amount of restaurants and bars lining the street, and wondering which one they'd be heading to, excitement and nervousness creeping into his stomach, making it do small flip flops. 

Kaidan made a small jump when he felt John's arm come up around his shoulder and let out a soft laugh. 

“Come on, it's this way.” John grinned, using the arm around Kaidan’s shoulder to leading him down the street.

John led them into a small modest restaurant, however, instead of getting a table like Kaidan thought they would, John continued to lead them closer to the back and down a flight of stairs. Kaidan looked around at the room they found themselves in with…. slight worry and slight curiosity. It was basically bare other than a large fireplace on one wall, two armchairs and a loveseat. 

Kaidan looked up at John with his brow crinkled, his head tilted. All he got in return was a cheeky grin as John dropped the arm from his shoulder and went over to the fireplace. Kaidan watched in fascination as John fiddled with something on the side and then pulled the fireplace from the wall like a door, revealing a hidden bar and restaurant. 

Kaidan’s jaw dropped for a moment before he raced over to John and was practically buzzing in excitement.

“Pretty cool right? I found this place last year. I've made it like, a personal mission to find a bunch of hidden, underground bars.” John explained, putting his arm back around Kaidan’s shoulder and leading him inside. 

The interior was stunning. Overall it had a 1920’s speakeasy vibe, like something straight out of The Great Gatsby with the gold and black decorative walls, the dark wood bar and furniture, the alcohol bottles lining the back of the bar. There was even a small stage set up in front of a small dance floor, with a live band playing some music for the patrons.

“There's not a lot of people at the moment cause it's early. But it'll pick up soon and the dance floor gets wild.” John mentioned as he led Kaidan to a table, pulling the chair out for him.

Kaidan gave an understanding smile and sat down, resting his chin in his hand and watching John, his eyes alight with happiness and excitement. He couldn't help but look John over, the dim lighting in the room casting over his face in a way that made Kaidan’s heart beat faster. 

“Oh! I got this for you. I'm trying to learn sign language so I can actually understand what you're trying to say… but until then.” John shrugged, going into his jacket pocket and pulling out a small notebook and a pen, handing them over. 

Kaidan nodded, his heart giving a slight skip because John was actually going to learn sign language for him. Kaidan didn't think his heart could take much more of this man. He took the items with a happy grin, flicking to the first page. "Thank you x’ He wrote, showing it to John with a slight blush.

At that moment, a waitress dressed in a classic flapper dress came over and gave them menus, a grin on her face. “Hi, welcome to Moonshine. Can I get you boys some drinks?” 

John glanced at Kaidan for a moment before ordering a whiskey for himself and a lager for Kaidan. He thanked the waitress before facing Kaidan fully again.

“So… tell me more about yourself, Kaidan.”

Kaidan raised an eyebrow, making a 'like what?’ gesture, biting lightly as his lip.

“Like… do you have any siblings? Pets? What's your dream goal in life? Just… stuff.”

It was quiet for a moment between them as Kaidan thought the questions through and then started writing. 

“I don't have any siblings. I have a dog that lives with my parents named Max. My goal is to be happy, have a family and love my job. I like using my hands and making things, which is why I'm studying mechanical engineering.” 

Kaidan pushed the notebook over to John and watched him read his words. While he was reading, their drinks arrived and Kaidan picked up the bottle, relishing in the bitter liquid sliding down his throat. 

Before the waitress left, John ordered them both some burger and fries before giving Kaidan all his attention. "Can you dance?” 

Kaidan glanced at the dance floor and gave a hesitant nod, his hand coming up with his thumb and forefinger nearly touching in the ‘little bit’ gesture. He wasn't great at dancing but he was reasonably sure he'd be able to follow along if John was leading.

Soon enough their food had arrived and another round of drinks were ordered. The bar had finally filled up, the music now louder and the dance floor was nearly full of people dancing and laughing and generally having a good time, and for Kaidan, the atmosphere was infectious and he couldn't wipe the smile from his face as they ate their food. 

After they had both finished, Kaidan watched John stand and then grab at his wrist, pulling him out of his chair with a grin. “Let's dance.” The man yelled over the music and Kaidan let out a soft laugh and followed John to the crowded dance floor. 

Their dancing was cringe worthy to say the least. It was obvious neither knew how to dance well but they were having fun, and that's what mattered. The crowd was full enough that they were dancing close to each other, their bodies brushing against each other frequently and Kaidan started to feel flushed and warm, his heart beating quickly as he stared up at John. 

John stared back with a cheeky smirk and placed his hands on Kaidan’s waist, pulling him closer so they were dancing chest to chest, their hips moving against each other to the beat. He could feel the heat between them growing and he was loving it. He loved seeing Kaidan letting loose and having fun, not worrying about anything apart from the two of them and being together.

Kaidan bit his lip as everything around them melted away. The only thing he could see was John in front of him. He blinked, and like in slow motion, they both started to lean in, heads tilting slightly as their lips became a hair's breadth apart.

Kaidan let out a grunt as he was suddenly crushed against John's chest, the world around them coming back in a rush as it registered that he was bumped by another person dancing. He glanced up at John’s face and saw the other man laughing happily and Kaidan could help but roll his eyes fondly and laugh softly as well. He reached for John's hand and then nodded towards the exit with a small smile.

John nodded back and started to lead Kaidan out towards the exit, maneuvering between the bodies pressed together. Once outside, he took a deep breath and sat on one of the armchairs outside the entrance, patting his lap with another cheeky grin for Kaidan to come sit. 

Kaidan let out a giggle and shyly moved over to the armchair, sitting on John's lap sideways. John's arms came around his waist and he settled in a bit more comfortably, his hands playing with the zipper of John's jacket. 

“Thank you.” Kaidan mouthed slowly, giving a happy smile.

“For the date? You're welcome.” John hummed, his fingers rubbing gently at Kaidan’s side and checking the time on his watch. “Are you ready to head back to campus soon?” He asked quietly. He didn't want to leave right away, but they'd already been out for a couple hours.

Kaidan gave a small nod but didn't move from his position. He closed his eyes and settled in, listening to the muffled music filtering out to them from the bar. Quietly, they exchanged questions, until Kaidan’s hand was cramping from writing responses and any alcohol had long left their systems.

John let out a low sigh and helped Kaidan stand up. “Alright, let's head out, K.” 

The ride back to campus seemed to go by too quick for Kaidans liking. He didn't want this date to end but soon enough, John was cutting off the engine and their dorm building looming in front of them. 

Kaidan hopped off the bike, taking the helmet off and waiting for John to do the same. He held out his hand once John was ready and they walked together, hand in hand to Kaidan’s room. Once there, Kaidan stopped and turned to John, licking his lips nervously. 

“I had a really good time tonight, Kaidan. We'll do this again, okay? If you want to.” John suggested, the smallest amount of nerves peeking through his voice. It made Kaidan smile and he nodded eagerly to alleviate John's nerves.

John’s shoulders visibly relaxed and he stepped closer to Kaidan, one hand coming up to his cheek as he slowly leaned in, his tongue peaking out to lick his lips quickly. 

“Can I kiss you?” he breathed, their lips as close as they were back at the bar, but he wouldn't go further until he got the go ahead. 

Kaidan gave a short, quick nod and the next thing he knew, their lips were pressed together in a soft, sweet kiss. He eagerly kissed John back, his hands coming up to grip at his jacket and pressing their bodies closer together.

After a couple moments, John pulled back slightly, Kaidan chasing his lips for a second before pulling back as well, the blush on his cheeks a dark red. He licked his lips and looked up at John with happy eyes and took a step back. 

“Thank you for tonight.” He mouthed, reaching behind him to open his dorm door.

“No problem. I'll see you around, K.” John winked, starting to walk backwards away from Kaidan before turning around and leaving.

Kaidan watched him go before turning quickly stepping into his room, closing the door and leaning against it, his eyes closed. 

What an amazing night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead!! Sorry it's been months since I updated but I've been hella busy with working and uni. But I'm finally on break and I'm hoping to get back into the swing of writing again eeeee thanks so much for sticking by this story! Love you guys!
> 
> Check me out on my Tumblr, Twitter, Discord, and Insta: @aliensvslife

**Author's Note:**

> Whew there we go. Let me know what you think!
> 
> Find me on my socials: @aliensvslife


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